Earth to Shepard
by Emma Reade
Summary: Post-Destroy ending. Commander Jane Shepard finds herself laying in a hospital bed; and she's in bad shape. To make matters worse the Normandy crew is missing somewhere in the traverse. Shepard will have to find a way to find her crew and the love of her life: Garrus Vakarian. Shakarian and Jackanda
1. Victory

**Victory**

 **Author's Note** : This story takes place after the destroy ending. I am always open to feedback and comments so please send them my way! Hope you enjoy!

"Impact imminent….impact imminent….impact imminent….warning….impact imminent….brace for impact."

Those were the last words Commander Jane Shepard remembered hearing before she crash landed in a Scottish field. It was hard for her to see the controls; she was delirious from pain and was coughing blood. Falling from space was a familiar but unwelcome sensation for her, and even with her experience she could not protect herself from being thrown about in her seat as the shuttle crashed.

After that things got a little hazy. She remembered seeing flashes of light, she remembered the old farmer who came rushing to her crash site. He was yelling something but she couldn't understand him. Her ears were burning and the parts of her body that still felt like they were on fire didn't help matters. She had tried to call out to him, but didn't have the strength.

Shepard knew she had to have a concussion, perhaps even a major one. She told herself not to fall asleep, but she couldn't fight her own body that forced her into submission. She let out a small gasp as her world faded into darkness just as the farmer reached out to grab her limp body.

She wasn't sure how long she was out but when she awoke she was in some sort of hospital. Everything was blurry and she half wondered if she was going blind due to some sort of force trauma. She could make out some shapes around her and the fluorescent lights burned her now seemingly sensitive eyes.

It seemed as if the shapes around her were doctors. She couldn't make out details but one appeared to be a Salarian, the other a human female with dark hair and the other a red colored Turian. They were talking amongst themselves; probably about her. She wasn't sure but their tone was one of concern and perhaps even panic.

Shepard attempted to call out for them but was shocked to hear a garbled mess in place of her own voice. The doctors around her scurried towards her grabbing her and yelling at each other with compounded frustrations. Shepard tried to move but they held her down and then began to sedate her.

Shepard panicked, the last time she was sedated it was by Cerberus and that a worrisome thought crossed her mind: what if this was Cerberus? Sure, the Illusive Man had died inside the crucible but that didn't mean his foot soldiers were anywhere near done. What if their new plan was to take her?

Jane had remembered Miranda telling her about a plan to potentially put her under mind control, a chip to keep her in line. The Illusive Man had voted against it at the time but she was confident that if he had another chance he would renege on that. Shepard's eyes darted about as she tried to figure out exactly where she was, but before she could the drugs put her back to sleep.

Shepard floated from vivid dream to vivid dream. She saw parts of her life unfold before her, the good, the bad; the death of her parents at the hands of the Batarians was a particularly painful memory. She tried to wake up from the nightmare but she couldn't. It was like her mind was locked on a rail and she was being forced to experience each and every dream in painful detail.

"You did good child" the words of her mentor David Anderson. Her supplant father figure after being orphaned. He was the one with the plan on how to defeat the reapers, he was the one who stayed and fought. He was a tougher soldier in many ways, he was a man who had nothing but his job and yet he was so kind and gentle at the same time. He was a fascinating person and the true hero of the Milky Way; but he would never take credit for it. That wasn't his style, and maybe that's why she admired him so much. It should have been her bleeding out in the crucible, not him.

But Jane also knew this line of thinking was foolish; Anderson would never allow her to die in his stead. The only two things Anderson had left outside of war was Shepard and Sanders. Jane knew that she represented to him the child he never got to have and Sanders most likely the family he never got to start. At that moment an image flashed of Anderson and Sanders hugging her as a child. She felt warmth, she felt completion and then they vanished like the mythical fantasy that moment was.

Shepard continued to float about her subconscious. Waiting for any movement, any end to the parade of memories. It was all too much, like a roller coaster ride she desperately wanted to get off but couldn't. She heard whispers and then she saw his face…Garrus Vakarian.

"Come back alive" he had told her, she had to come back alive. He was waiting for her! He probably didn't even know she was alive, what if he was hurt? What if he had moved on? What if he did something drastic in grief? No! No, Garrus wouldn't do that he's a fighter like her. He was going to fight; she knew he would not give up on finding her. She just had to get up and tell him where she was.

"Garrus."

"Oh my God she's waking up!" she heard a female voice say. There was a lot of noise, it was too much noise; the lights were so bright. The lights felt like the sun had been placed right in front of her face. Shepard closed her eyes for fear of burning her pupils. She began to hear the faint beat of her own heart on a monitor. She tilted her head just enough to see her pulse and readings were normal. That was a relief, a momentary respite from her worries.

"Garrus" she moaned in pain. Where was he? She glanced up and saw the shadowy outline of a Turian body coming into the room. Her heart rate rapidly increased, it was Garrus!

Shepard lifted her head up which was still in a brace to see him and then some light in her eyes faded as she realized the Turian was the doctor she had seen earlier. It was not her love, but instead some skinny alien in a lab coat. Her heart returned to normal and she struggled to speak.

"Commander Shepard calm down. We need you to relax, and we need you to lie still. Can you do that for us?" the Turian had a youth to his voice, he was young. Younger than her, probably just out of medical school it seemed. Jane tried to calm herself but it was like the 'on' switch of her mind had been flipped and now it was running wild with thoughts and scenarios.

Where was her Normandy crew? Where was she? Was she still in Scotland or had she been moved to a new location? Before she had landed in London she had heard Scotland hadn't gotten hit that bad yet. The Reapers weren't interested in destroying a bunch of farmland; they wanted to devastate the major cities first. The Normandy was up there with team Sword, and things weren't going well right before she entered the crucible.

"Commander Shepard. Are you able to talk?" that came from the female doctor. Shepard had no reply. The Turian motioned to the woman and she pulled up a chair and sat next to her. She then signaled to the Turian who nodded his head solemnly.

"Commander my name is Nilon Rykos, with me is Ms. Dana Brownstein we were the surgeons who operated on you."

"T-thank you…" said Shepard weakly, her voice hoarse. Dana placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder.

"Please Commander, do not speak. You are at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh; you were brought here shortly after your shuttle crash-landed. You were in a coma. I will detail your injuries momentarily. I am going to give you a series of 'yes' or 'no' questions. Close your right eye for yes, close your left eye for no. Do you understand me?" Shepard closed her right eye. Nilon nodded his head.

"Do you remember anything after the crash other than waking up in our hospital?"

Shepard closed her left eye she didn't have the strength to bring up having briefly been conscious before being sedated.

"Are you aware of anyone who came to see you and or attended to you during your stay thus far?"

Again Shepard closed her left eye.

"Are you aware that the Reapers were defeated?"

Shepard couldn't help but smile a bit as she closed her right eye in more of a winking tone. That got a quick but warm smirk out of Nilon. Then Jane felt the hand of Dana grasp hers and her heart rate went up a tick; something was wrong.

"Commander Shepard you received various burns on your body. Most were 1st and 2nd degree burns however you sustained numerous 3rd degree burns and several 4th degree burns in particular on your left arm and legs." There was a pregnant pause with Nilon he glanced quickly at Dana. "If you are not familiar; fourth degree burns affect tendons, muscles and bones. Your arm and leg were so severely burned that Ms. Brownstein and myself had to amputate them."

Shepard tried to move, she was not aware she now focused her eyes over to her left side and saw that her entire left forearm was gone and her left leg was nothing more than a stump. She let out a howl as Dana restrained her.

"Commander Shepard, please calm down" Dana was imploring with her and Shepard was trying her best to remain still, but she couldn't believe her arm and leg were completely gone and she had just now noticed.

Shepard's breathing became shallow and rushed but as Dana caressed her hand lightly Jane began to relax a bit. It reminded her of a doctor who had took care of her after she had broken her wrist in basic training. She didn't remember the doctor's name but she remembered feeling he knew what he was doing. She felt she could trust Dana, she had an air of experience about her despite not looking a day older than 30. Shepard's breathing began to normalize.

"You also experienced several broken ribs, you shattered your right foot but we were able to save that though you won't be able to walk on it for a while. We had to replace your synthetic lung it was severely damaged and no longer working. You also burst an eardrum from the sound of the explosion. Our doctors predict you have lost around 50% hearing in your left ear and around 20% in your right. Though I caution those predictions are….optimistic. You also damaged a few ocular nerves and we will need to do more surgery to return your sight to normal. We have one of the best teams for that here. You're in good hands Commander Shepard."

Jane didn't know what to say, she knew it was bad, she didn't know it was that bad. But of course it had been, the little brat had warned her that she would most likely die because of the loss of power to synthetics. Then it hit her, did that also mean the Normandy lost power?

"My crew…doctor…my crew. The SSV- Normandy. My crew! Alliance….Navy." There was another foreboding pause. Nilon was having trouble looking her in the eye so Dana spoke up.

"The Normandy crew was listed as Missing In Action, it's been very public in the news. They had gone through a mass effect field right before the EMP wave. Their current location is unknown…"

The world stopped for a moment. Joker, Kaidan, Tali, James, Liara, Chawkwas, Samantha….they were all on that ship. But Garrus, he was on the ship as well! Jane let out a scream "Garrus! Where is Garrus Vakarian?!"

"He was on the Normandy when it went missing. We haven't heard anything from them despite attempts to contact them. The last anyone saw of the Normandy was when it vanished into the traverse. That was nearly eight weeks ago" said Nilon knowing every word he was saying was killing his patient.

"No, you're lying! They would have found a way to contact someone!"

"Commander, the ships were rendered almost completely useless, and most ships that were currently passing through a mass effect field were destroyed. At this point in time the only plausible outcomes are that they are stranded, or dead."

Dana shot Nilon a sharp look, Nilon seemed embarrassed by it, but he stood tall as Jane began to try and unlatch herself from the bed. "Commander, you are not well, you need to rest. You are in no position to move right now!"

"Shut up! Let me go!"

Commander Shepard tried to get out of the bed but before she could Dana injected her with another sedative. Jane screamed out to them her voice still a wreck "Bastards! Let me go! Let me….go…."

When the red head warrior awoke next it was night and the room was silent. She tired to move but realized they had now equipped metal latches to keep her down on the bed. After a fruitless struggle she sighed heavily and resigned herself to her current fate.

Looking up at the ceiling her mind began to think of every horrible thing that could be happening to her crew, to Garrus. They were all tough and knew how to survive, but eight weeks was a long time. And she just couldn't believe they wouldn't have found a way to get back home at this point.

Was this her destiny? To lose everyone and still somehow survive? What a cruel joke to survive death twice but to lose everyone else around her in the process. Perhaps this was some sort of cosmic punishment for all the wrong she had done during her quest to save the galaxy. Perhaps she deserved this.

Jane took a breath; it was not helping to blame herself right now. She had to think, who could be out there who could help her search for her squad? Grunt wasn't the search and rescue type but if he was still alive he'd be loyal to her. Where was Jack or Miranda? They were in good shape last she saw them. Jacob was fighting and helping with the crucible as far as she knew he had survived. They had to be around somewhere, they had to have come visited her…right?

It was a night of near hopelessness. There was nothing the savior of the Citadel could do to save herself. She was confined to a bed, she was missing limbs and she felt like warmed over garbage. In this tiny night of despair Shepard decided to call on someone she hadn't talked to in years, almost a decade.

"God. God, if you are there…if you can hear me…I know we don't really see eye to eye on a lot of things. I know I'm not the best candidate to ask for your favor right now, but I need your help. I don't know what to do, and I am so scared. I am so, so scared. I don't have anything to 'cash in' all I have is me. And I'm a mess….tell me what to do. I don't know what to do."

There was silence, as there always was after prayer. Shepard didn't even know if she could call it a prayer, it was more like a plea. She wasn't even sure if there was anyone or anything out there that would hear her. But she knew that if Garrus was alive then there was something good still left in this awful universe.

"God, if won't help me escape this then I have only one request. If Garrus is alive send me some hope, send me a sign. And if he's dead…"

And at that moment Shepard did something she hadn't done in a long, long time. She allowed herself to cry. And it came out like a fire hose, all the years of pain and suffering shooting out of her like a sprinkler.

All the people she had lost, all of the time she had spent, all of her painful memories grabbed at her and for once she didn't wrestle with them she just let them be. She had no more will in her to fight her own humanity.

"Don't let them fix me up again and turn me into another soldier for battle. If Garrus is dead, let me die!" And then Commander Jane Shepard closed her eyes and let herself drift off to sleep.

The next morning Shepard awoke to the sound of a very familiar voice. "Shepard?" Jane dared to open her eyes to see the familiar and friendly face of the former Cerberus operative Miranda Lawson.

"Miranda?"

"Hello Shepard. Glad to see you up."

"Heh, well I'm glad to see you."

"Commander, we need to talk. It's about the Normandy."

 **Author's Note:** More chapters to come soon, please let out all your feedback love hearing from readers!


	2. Bed Bugs

**Bed Bugs**

Jane Shepard had to decide which question she was going to ask first. There were so many shooting through her head like streaks of light. She could feel her chest tightening up, bracing herself for potentially devastating news. Miranda was known as a cold woman amongst the Cerberus crew. It wasn't that she lacked compassion or perspective, quite the opposite in fact. Miranda Lawson was an operative and a damn good soldier. Everything she did was measured and well thought out, Shepard knew that any question she asked would be answered with prompt and precision. Miranda was not one to waste words, blisteringly direct was more her style.

Shepard watched as Miranda moved with purpose to her left bedside. She sat down in one of the plastic chairs and inched herself right next to Shepard's bed. The raven-haired woman first examined Jane's amputated limps and cocked an eyebrow while trying not to give off any particular emotion in her face. It was almost blank but Jane knew Miranda well enough to know she was a bit unsettled by it.

"Miranda, how is the rebuilding process going?"

Miranda shot Shepard a look that was at first full of that ice so many had come to lament over the years. But almost as quickly as the aggressive stare had entered it softened into a near uncharacteristic warm smile.

"Commander, for once and your life let the galaxy do it's own dirty work and worry about yourself. I know what you really want to ask. The answer to your question is: I don't know what happened to Garrus Vakarian. He's a steely Turian and he's one of the most resourceful aliens in the galaxy. But I have no real idea if he is alive or not, I'm sorry."

"So you came all the way here to tell me that?"

Miranda crossed her arms and smirked. "Hardly, believe it or not I actually do care about you and wanted to see how you were. I consider you a friend after all Shepard. Do you consider me one?"

Jane hesitated for a moment, the question of being Miranda's friend or not was not what threw her off. Instead it was how Lawson had phrased the question; it had a hint of salesmanship in it. Miranda wanted something, or needed something. What could it possibly be? Was she buttering her up for some sort of offer?

"Yes, you're my friend. What's going on Miranda?"

"Do you find it odd that nobody from the Alliance has come by to see you? I mean sure there was a war, but you're the hero of the citadel, the vanquisher of reapers…"

"Vanquisher of reapers?"

"I don't like it either, some PR intern came up with it. They're working on it, trust me."

"I've been out, I have no clue whose come to see me."

"Admiral Hackett came early on, but once he saw that you were out of commission he felt it'd be inappropriate to stick around too long. It could end up being politically unsavory of him to do so."

"How are politics involved in this mess?"

"You're a very popular woman Commander Shepard. Many world and galactic leaders were killed by the reapers, there is a very large power vacuum at work. Sure the council is technically still around, but governments fall all the time. And people with council space are quite unhappy with the fact that you warned the council about the reapers and that they seemed to ignore you."

"They felt that it was just another Geth threat."

"Yes, well arguing they were blasé as an excuse is not going to help their case. And they know it. Shepard, the council is worried that you're going to end up becoming some sort of de facto dictator."

Jane had to take pause at that statement. It had never really occurred to her, sure she was the first human spectre but that was a role that now Kaidan Alenko was going to step into. Yes, she had saved the lives of many beings in the galaxy but that was a military soldier. She wasn't this grand leader after all, she had committed war crimes to some extent or another, she was a bit brash, and even reckless at times. The only reason the alliance put up with her was because she was just lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. Hackett was the man with the plans, why wouldn't the people want him as their leader?

It seemed Miranda was reading Shepard's mind because she decided to chime in. "Admiral Hackett would be a top candidate but people don't want the boxer's trainer to win, they want to see the boxer wear the belt." There was stillness in the air; Shepard braced herself for what was to come next.

"The alliance has made only token efforts to find the Normandy. The thought process is they can handle just you alone. You are still loyal to the alliance and if Hackett tells you to exit stage left you will. But what if the entire Normandy crew was with you? And what if all of them couldn't be told to hold their tongues? Political mutiny."

Shepard tried to sit up but couldn't with the restraints. "That's ridiculous. My crew would follow me, and I have no interest in joining the council. Certainly not overthrowing them."

"The Council is not so confident. They're paranoid, and I believe they would have let you die if they could. But that'd just make the situation worse. So they're just kind of hoping that you'll break and disappear into obscurity."

Shepard scoffed, it was fairly insulting. She thought back to the council, how weak minded they were and how unhelpful they had been. They were so concerned with their status and their perks they wouldn't heed any of her advice. It had been endlessly frustrating and even when they threw her a bone she could tell it was just scraps. The Asari councilor did have a soft spot for her; but then again all Asari seemed to.

Miranda stroked her chin for a bit, and leaned in. The genetically perfect woman could sense that Jane was about to say something fairly poignant. "It's going to take more than some broken bones and a burned skin to make me disappear." Shepard smirked, but that faded quickly when she saw Miranda was not amused.

"That's not what I meant. That's one of the reasons they're not using any resources to find the Normandy. Your relationship with Garrus Vakarian has become quite public. It's popular in fact. People are eating it up, once word got back to the council they predicted that if they wanted to break you, they'd let you think Garrus died."

"But you said it yourself, you don't know if he's alive."

"I said I didn't know, but I believe he is."

Shepard's face was turning red, but not a blush it was a rage. The council was keeping her from finding her crew. The council was willing to let Garrus and all the people who helped save the galaxy just to save their jobs! No, she was not going to stand for this.

"Miranda, you have to help me get out of here."

If Shepard still had a left arm to use she would have reached out and grabbed the former Cerberus agent but instead she had to plead with her using her eyes. Miranda nodded.

"We're already on it commander."

Shepard raised an eyebrow "We?" Who could Miranda be working with?

As if on cue Jack walked in wearing a cut off top that showed off her cleavage and midriff as well as some baggy cargo pants. She immediately slammed the door behind her "Shepard! Good to see ya', you look like shit."

Miranda rolled her eyes "Could you be any louder? We're trying to be a bit discreet here."

Jack chuckled as the biotic test subject jumped on a rolling chair and slid to the side of the patient. "Discreet, got it. Yo, Shepard you want to blow this taco stand or what?"

Shepard wasn't sure if she should be relieved or horrified. Perhaps a bit of both, this was not what she expected. "I can't believe this. You two are working together? God, the galaxy must be a mess!"

"Yeah, cheerleader over here was practically begging for my help springing you from this joint." Shepard laughed heartily for the first time in weeks, she turned to Miranda expecting some sort of rebuttal but got none. Instead Miranda rubbed the back of her neck.

"Oh wow, she's serious? You asked her for help?!"

"She's got some experience escaping places. Figured she might come in handy."

Jack snorted "Just admit it sweet cakes, you missed me." Jack stuck out her tongue at Miranda who just rolled her eyes and turned her head in return. If Shepard didn't know any better she would have been concerned but she knew as crazy as Jack was she was also quite resourceful.

"Alright, so this wing is way too secure. Way too many guards, way too many cameras. We got to get you in a different area if we want to break you out" explained Jack fiddling with her pants' pockets.

"I'm guessing you've got a plan" inquired Jane as Miranda signaled to Jack. The tattooed biotic held up a little glass jar. At first Shepard didn't see anything in it and was confused but when she looked closer she could see something moving.

"Fastest way to get moved to a new room? Bed bugs" gleaned Jack as she shook the jar lightly. Shepard's eyes grew a bit wider.

"So when are we doing this?" asked Shepard, already knowing the answer.

"No time like the present, commander" Miranda smiled while Jack began to unloosen the jar lid.

 **Author's Note** : More to come soon!


	3. Piece of Garbage

Piece of Garbage

Jane could feel herself falling; she was falling into a gray murky darkness all around her. She turned her head from side to side trying desperately to look for anything that might save her, but there was nothing and she knew she was falling way too far for anything to make a difference at this point. There was no discernable ground that she could see, no walls, no noise; just a seemingly endless vertical drop. As she tried to scream no words came out, not even garbled noise. The silence was more horrifying than the journey towards certain death. Why couldn't she hear herself?

Then she heard it and felt her bones jump inside her own flesh. It was the grating and vibrating sound of Harbinger the haunting voice that chased and encircled her every movement anytime the collectors were near. It was the kind of voice that beckoned for violence and fear. It was as unpleasant as it was foreboding. And now she could hear this monstrous growl as she kept her lethal pace.

"This hurts you!" Shepard tried to scream but once again there was nothing. "I will tear you apart!" No the thought of being torn apart, she had seen what the collectors had done to those less fortunate than her. The gray paste….that had to be what she was seeing all around her. NO! She was being processed! She was trapped in one of those tubes and was going to be turned into Reaper meat. Now she could scream.

"No! Please! Someone get me out of here! Somebody please! Help me!" Shepard awoke with a start, her eyes bulging and her heart rate accelerated. She was now alone again in her hospital room.

The room was silent, which only highlighted the heavy breathing of the famed first human spectre. Jane was used to nightmares; she experienced many well before the Reaper war and knew that the crucible was just going to add more to her ever-growing list. When they were gathering alliances for their final stand against the reapers she would sometimes to down to the battery to find Garrus and talk.

It didn't matter what time she came to make a nightly visit. Garrus never slept very well anyway, he too had many bad dreams that clawed at his mind during slumber. "I want a good night's rest like the rest of the galaxy…but I also don't want to forget my mistakes. I've learned too much from them" he had said that once right before a mission on Benning.

Shepard didn't always have to talk to him either. There were nights she would just simply stir him awake and then they'd sit there in silence. Sometimes he would hold her and use his mandibles to gently caress her back into slumber and other nights she was too shaken to even be touched. She rarely ever had to say anything, he just knew; he always knew.

One night in particular she had a night terror involving Virmire memories and she had woken up hollering. Garrus was in bed with her and had to pin her down to keep her flailing arms and legs from going too wild. After she had calmed down a bit holding back tears of guilt and sadness all she had to whisper was "Ashley."

"It's not your fault Shepard. Ash knew the risks; she was a good soldier. She wouldn't want you like this over her."

Jane's tears subsided and then she quietly got up and went down to the mess hall with her Turian companion. Shepard wasn't much of a cook she had spent more time learning how to assemble a rifle than a decent dish but she could still make a damn good sandwich.

Garrus had joined her whipping up some sort of Turian dish that involved something that resembled noodles but appeared to be more worm like in texture. Jane had to laugh silently to herself wondering if Garrus' vague resemblance to birds had anything to do with his love of a worm-like delicacy. They had made their late night snacks and then sat at the table across from each other. There was nobody else with them and the only sounds passing through the hall were the electric hum of Normandy and their own chewing.

Then after they were nearly done with their food Garrus broke the silence "I love you, you know." He had tried to make it sound casual but Jane could tell it was anything but. He had been waiting to say this to her for a while, his body was tense and he was avoiding eye contact; but it was incredibly sincere. Then Garrus met eyes with her and she froze up, not sure what to do.

Jane had only told her parents that she had loved them. The last thing she had heard from her mother on Mindoir before the Batarian pirates slaughtered her family was "Run Jane, mommy loves you! Run!" Jane had sprinted never looking back as she ran towards safety; the screams of her townspeople a bloody wave of sound hanging above her. Love was a very strong concept to her.

While training she had her little crushes, and then of course at one point she did have some semblance of feelings for Kaidan Alenko but any affection she had shown had been token at best. This was different, she truly cared for Garrus but she wasn't sure what to say next. Did she tell him she loved him? She didn't know that was a big step. Those were big words to her, and she wasn't ready to say them quite yet.

She must've been taking a while to respond because Garrus then stole his eyes away from her. "If you don't feel the same right now you don't have to say anything." Shepard could hear his voice drop a bit even with the sub-harmonics. Jane opened her mouth to say something but Garrus was already getting back up and throwing away his food.

"I'll be in the battery calibrating that canon. Now that I've eaten I don't feel like going to sleep. But you need to get some rest, see you at 0700." Shepard couldn't say anything now. Vakarian was headed back to his domain to most likely lick his wounds a bit. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but her caution had caused them both to be hurt. Jane suddenly wasn't very hungry; tossing away her food she headed back up to her quarters.

As Shepard thought on this she began to drift to sleep thinking of the last thing she had said to him "No matter what happens, you know I'll always love you….now go!" Shepard had tried desperately to fight back any tears and she had mostly succeeded but she heard her voice crack. It was like a betrayal by her own body and Garrus had picked up on it. It was too late by that point however; she needed to make her way to the Citadel. Then the memories began to weigh too heavy on her mind and she willed herself back to sleep.

* * *

Shepard opened her eyes and could see that it was morning, the hospital sounded busier and all of the lights were on. She was feeling a sharp pain in her lower back and muffled a small groan. Feeling an itch on her nose she moved her left arm to scratch it but realized the stub she now called an arm would no longer be able to reach. Gritting her teeth to prevent herself from growling she then scratched her nose with her right hand. Her right hand was cracking a bit from being so dry; she examined the crevices in a mull of momentary boredom.

A few minutes later Nilon and Dana were back in her room to check on her. Nilon looked well rested but Dana came off as strained, the bags under her eyes showcasing her energy level.

"How are you feeling Shepard?" Nilon's inquiry seemed sincere if not a bit flat in emotion. That didn't bother Shepard too much, but she felt herself naturally bracing herself for more bad news.

"I'm doing fine, slept a bit uncomfortably though" Shepard gauged the reactions of Dana and Nilon but neither gave too much sign of distress over the statement.

"That's expected, but in time your sleep patterns should return to normal" explained Dana with a somewhat warm demeanor. Jane had to chuckle a bit. What did normal even mean for her? She hadn't had a regular sleep pattern since she was under Anderson's command on the SSV-1 Normandy.

Jane then asked the question she really wanted to get at "When will I be getting a prosthetic?" There was a moment of tense silence, Shepard instantly knew something was amiss.

"That's not going to be for a while" cautioned Dana. Shepard raised an eyebrow. It had taken years but Cerberus had managed to give her a whole new synthetic arm at one point that was encased in human tissue and blood work. Certainly this hospital could give her some sort of plastic prosthetic. Jane pointed her eyes at Dana.

"What do you mean it's not going to be for a while?"

"These things take time."

"Stop being vague, how long?"

"Several months, that's all I can say."

Jane's heart sank, something was really not right. There was something unclear about their tone and even a tad defensive. She tried to discern a bit more from their faces but she was getting nothing from them.

"There are a few things we need to clear first before moving forward with prosthetics or cybernetic replacement limbs. We will keep you abreast with developments" Nilon was lying Shepard could tell; there was something hidden there but she dare not press harder.

Shepard took a breath for a moment and then tried to put on her sweetest face, a hard task but one she had to attempt. "I understand. Just please keep me updated, that's all I ask. I know you both are doing such hard work, and I want you to both know I greatly appreciate it." Shepard put on the biggest shit-eating grin she could muster. Nilon and Dana seemed to buy it.

Shortly after Dana and Nilon made their leave Shepard pressed her console for a nurse. A short human woman entered next, she had beach blonde hair and pale grain colored eyes to match. Shepard weakly called out to her "Nurse, I think there is something wrong with my bed."

The nurse came forward and tenderly felt the sheets. "What exactly is wrong? Do you need fresh sheets?" Shepard made eye contact trying hard not to give off a false vibe.

"Something keeps biting me." Shepard waited to see how the nurse would respond. The truth was Jack had only put dead bed bugs into her sheets, but she knew the hospital would not take any risk. Sure enough as the nurse examined the sheets and found the pests she immediately let out a small shriek and called for assistance.

The nurses and hospital staff had been very apologetic to Jane; she figured they were embarrassed by the whole situation and just want to move on. Either way it had worked and Jane was then moved into the less secure south wing of the hospital. It was only to be for one night but if Miranda & Jack's plan worked that was all they needed.

Night came slowly for Shepard who had to wait a whole seven hours before it got dark. She had been on long nights before, but this was different. Staking out an enemy or staying awake while under fire was totally different due to the adrenaline rush. Here Jane was admittedly very tired and wanted to rest but didn't dare in case she was somehow moved to her old room during sleep. She wondered how well Miranda & Jack's plan was going…

* * *

"This thing itches" whined Jack as she adjusted her baggy janitor's uniform. Miranda rolled her eyes as she adjusted her uniform as well. Disguised as custodians was about the only way Miranda figured they could get in without having to blast their way through. Sometimes the more subtle approach was the right call.

Jack and Miranda were to split up with Jack covering the west hall that led right into the south, and also to go in and tamper with any surveillance tech. Miranda was to go to the south hall and pick up Shepard. The plan was pretty simple, as Miranda pushed a garbage barrel forward.

"Stop complaining Jack, it's only for a moment" breathed Miranda as Jack glanced around at the dark rooms. Jack had been more for a biotic beat down to get Shepard out, but Miranda had warned that would probably cause the wrong kind of attention.

"Alright you remember the plan?"

"Yeah, yeah cheerleader. I got it down, just do your job so we can get out of here fast!"

The two split up and began to tend to their tasks. They needed to do everything in under ten minutes anything more and they risked being locked in the hospital and then the night would get way too interesting.

Jack reached the security room quickly; the guard questioned her to moment she came up. "What are you doing here?" Jack hesitated but composed herself.

"Uh, there's a problem down in the north wing, but for some reason my key won't let me in."

"North wing? What are you talking about? What room? I don't recognize you, who are you?"

"I'm new, I'm a transfer."

"I've never seen your face on file."

"Those damn computers, they never get anything updated in time am I right?"

The guard then turned his back to her while he reached for a comm. "I'm going to call this into my boss." Before the guard could do anything more he was knocked out from behind by Jack with a light biotic blast.

"Yeah, that didn't work" Jack sighed as she moved to the computers to begin dumping them of security footage. She was going to have to tie up the guard.

Miranda had just reached Shepard and was springing her from the coop as quietly as possible. Miranda lifted Jane up with a modified fireman's carry and began to carry her towards the garbage barrel. "Okay Miranda seriously, don't ever tell anyone about this." Miranda just laughed quietly as she gently placed Shepard into the barrel.

"Don't worry Shepard your secret is safe with me" whispered Miranda as she began to wheel Jane out of the room. Shepard could feel the excitement flaring up her bones again, was this really happening? Was she really breaking out of a hospital to find her crew? Not quite the rush she got from escaping the Citadel when the Normandy had been grounded; but it was still pretty badass she had to admit.

Jack was just finishing up the final touches on sabotaging the security systems when she saw something on a still live monitor: Alliance vessels. "Oh shit!" Jack turned to the now tied up and gagged guard "Did you know about this?" The guard nodded his head 'no' emphatically. Jack groaned and sprinted out of the room as quickly as she could.

Meeting up with Miranda and coming to a stutter stop Jack was already forgetting to keep her voice down. "It's the Alliance and I don't think they're here to give Shepard flowers."

"Dammit, they're probably already starting to surround the building. We've got to move fast!" growled Miranda as she began to think, using her genetically gifted brain to try and figure something out. Then she snapped her fingers "I've got it!" she proclaimed.

Shepard titled her head up towards Lawson. "What's the plan? Will it work?" she asked with a deep breath mixed in.

Miranda nodded her head "I think so….but you're not going to like it."

Moments later Shepard found herself falling through a waste chute right onto a pile of warm garbage. Unable to pull herself out of the smelly landing she laid there for a moment. Surrounded by filth, fitting in some odd way. Wasn't that the story of her entire life? Or perhaps it was more who she was inside. It takes a special kind of person to make all the choices she had; and she wasn't sure she had always made the right decision. And now the Alliance was after her, she had to wonder if Hackett knew…or worse had sanctioned it due to her checkered history.

Shepard didn't have long to wallow in her near literal self-pity because Jack quickly came tumbling down and shortly after it was Miranda who landed roughly onto Jack. Miranda's crotch had somehow managed to land directly on Jack's face and the angry biotic scrambled to push an embarrassed Miranda off of her. Jack looked like she was going to say something irate but her face softened a little bit as Miranda began to speak. Obvious blush on her pale cheeks.

"Jack, I'm so sorry! That was a total accident."

"Eh, don't worry about it cheerleader. Probably won't be the last time you sit on my face."

Miranda and Shepard raised an eyebrow to that but had no time to respond as they soon began to see the searchlights of Alliance ships. "We've got to keep moving" warned Jane as Miranda helped her up and the trio fled on foot.

"We won't get far enough on foot, they'll find us" whispered Jane. The group could hear Alliance soldiers closing in as they ran into a nearby park. Hoping the trees and foliage would give them some cover.

"Don't worry, I called in a favor" smirked Miranda. Shepard had no idea what it meant but she trusted the former Cerberus officer with her life. Heck, she had saved it before.

It was just as they made it into a clearing by an old stone road that their help arrived. A sleek and shiny shuttlecraft, Jane didn't even bother to ask as they made their way toward the door and as it lifted open they were greeted by the smiling face of Jacob Taylor.

"Jacob!" Shepard couldn't contain her smile; it had been a long time since she had seen him.

"Commander" he said with a simple nod. The trio got into the shuttle and it sped off as quickly as possible. Shepard was placed on a cot while Jack tended to her with some water.

"Jacob, I can't thank you enough for doing this" smiled Shepard as the shuttle flew through the night sky. She was always worried about Jacob he seemed like he was constantly trying to prove himself. And that made her think he would do dangerous things. Things like rescuing her from a hospital and then joining her on yet another possible suicide mission.

"Don't thank me yet Commander, we still have to get you to your destination. And who knows when the Alliance will be on our tails. You just sit back there and relax."

"You all are unbelievable. This has to be one of the craziest things I've ever done" sighed Shepard.

"You shitting me Shepard? How is this crazier than blowing up a nuke on Pragia? Or going inside the consciousness of the geth?"

"Well you've got me there."

The group shared a rare collective laugh. It had been too long since they had just hung out together; the last time was their final shore leave on the Citadel. Thinking back on all those warm memories just made Shepard miss her crew even more.

Shepard dosed off just long enough to wake up as the shuttle was landing on a secluded dock. Jacob helped her up and outside where it was raining like rapid-fire bullets onto the ground. Shepard could make out a fairly large ship just a little bit in front of her. It was probably about half the size of the SSV-Normandy.

"This is the SSV-Oslo it used to be an Alliance ship but it was decommissioned about three standard years ago. It should pass on most scanners so if you're smart it should go on undetected" Jacob explained as he led Jane towards the ship.

"You're not coming with?" asked Shepard a bit confused.

"Sorry Shepard, my wife is about to have her baby. I need to be there for her, this is as far as I can take you." Even though Jane only had one arm she gave Jacob the biggest hug she possibly could. Then after a quick embrace she was carried onto the SSV-Oslo by Miranda and Jack.

On board Shepard tried to dry herself off. The ship was definitely not as ornate as the Normandy, but it was more than functional and offered plenty of space. This was more than enough to help them travel and find their crew.

"We're shipping off in five minutes" Jack yelled. Shepard looked around and began to see familiar faces all around. Koylat Krios was working on some schematics and Dr. Michel came up to greet her with a warm hug.

"You got all these people to help?" asked Shepard, honestly humbled. Miranda just nodded her head lightly.

"Mother!" Shepard spun her head around just in time to be grabbed by Grunt who laughed and embraced his adoptive space 'mother.' Shepard couldn't believe it.

"Grunt! Is that really you?"

"There's only one pure Krogan in the galaxy and you're looking at him!"

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Shepard was led over to a seat and strapped in. The ship was about to launch off but Shepard has a burning question. "Wait a minute, who's our pilot?"

As if on cue out stepped the tall and powerful Asari named Samara. Shepard's jaw nearly hit the floor; this was the cherry on top. "Hello Shepard." Shepard was grasping for words. "Well don't act so surprised, how do you think a justicar gets around? I've been flying longer than you've been alive. I'll get us where we need to go."

Shepard could only whisper a very grateful "Thank you." Samara grinned and then headed back towards the cockpit.

"Alright girl scouts we're bustin' outta here in less than two minutes. Alliance better not sniff us out before then!" There was a knock on the hull door. Everyone froze, what if that was Alliance? It was a woman's voice behind the door asking to be let in, Miranda cautiously opened the hull door and the woman walked in wearing a thin raincoat.

The raincoat was soaked and had lost it's shape. The poor jacket was literally falling apart but then the hood came off to reveal the orange hair of an old friend. "Yeoman Kelly Chambers reporting for duty!" Shepard smiled as Chambers took to her station almost immediately, but not before taking a detour to get a hug from her Commander.

Shepard directed her eyes around the cabin of the ship. This was actually happening, there was a chance she could find the Normandy. It was a long shot and they were facing impossible odds, but when had that not been the case? With this crew, anything was possible.

 **Author's Note:** Will continue the adventure soon! Please leave reviews can't wait to share the next chapter with all of ya'll!


	4. Yamm

Yamm

 **Author's Note:** Sorry for a delay between chapters, work has been very busy lately and so I was reduced to just chipping away at this chapter whenever I got some free time. Hope you all enjoy the read, please remember to leave feedback!

Shepard was stirred awake by the hand of Kelly Chambers gently tugging at her shoulder. Jane groggily opened her eyelids, there was a milky drip coming out from the corner of her eyes; a mix of sleep and rheum. Jane had been dreaming about her old squad. Her thoughts had turned to Thane and how he had prayed for her right before he died. His last thought was to give her strength, and Jane couldn't help but feel that people paid too much attention to her.

It was always her, they were always following her, obeying her, supporting her. And now the war was over and they were still carrying her through. Sure, she was their leader, but she'd be foolish to think for even a moment that she could've done any of it alone.

"It's time to take your pain medication" said Kelly tenderly as she gave Jane some pills and a cup of water. Jane quickly took the pills and Chambers took the water cup and trashed it. "How are you feeling?" her inquiry was beyond sincere.

"Kelly, why are you all doing this for me?" Shepard couldn't even look the former Yeoman in the eyes. Kelly hesitated but then placed her hand on the right arm of Shepard.

"Because you saved the galaxy, because you inspired us to leave our dead-end lives to help you, because you brought peace between Krogan and Turians….because you deserve for someone to look after you. Not to rebuild you, not to get anything out of you or control you. You deserve to know that you are loved Commander Shepard. And you are!"

"Kelly, I almost lost you once. I don't want to put you in harm's way again."

"Danger is part of my job Commander."

"I don't want it to be, I don't want to do this anymore. I…"

Shepard could feel herself about to crack and stopped herself. Kelly straightened up; she had never seen Jane like this. This wasn't natural for her, and while she considered herself an expert in interpersonal relationships, this was something she wasn't sure how to handle. She had never seen Shepard shaken, she had heard through the grapevine that the fall of Thessia unsettled Shepard; but seeing her unnerved in person was a whole other matter.

"Commander…"

"Don't call me that!" At that moment tears welled up in her eyes and Kelly stepped back. Unsure of herself suddenly, the crew had heard Jane's outburst and were circling the deck. Pensively they watched, listening. Shepard realized she was making a scene and had upset Kelly. The orange haired Yeoman was shaking a bit. Jane took a deep cleansing breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me; I just need some more rest. You're doing a good job Chambers. Really."

"Yes Commander—Ma'am."

Jane leveled her hand to soothe Kelly. "Commander is fine, I am Commander Shepard am I not?" Kelly simply nodded her head and then went back to work. Jane glanced over at Miranda who had her arms crossed as she studied Shepard.

"Miranda, would you uh, mind telling me where we're going?" Jane engaged with the raven-haired beauty. Miranda walked with purpose up to Shepard, her boots clacking against the floor with force. She sat down next to Shepard and waited until Shepard turned her head enough to at least almost look like she was making eye contact.

"Ever been to New Karnak?" Miranda asked with such a casual tone Jane didn't even have to tell her she hadn't. "It's on the planet Yamm, in the Nubian expanse. The planet is roughly 90% water; it's mainly used for biofuel. But there are several colonies on the planet. We have a contact there who might be able to help us find the Normandy."

"Who is this contact?"

Miranda stole a look at Jack who was not so subtly eavesdropping on the conversation while she pretended to wander about the deck. "You'll see who our contact is when we land." Shepard frowned her face turning hard as a rock as she then made eye contact with Lawson.

"I don't like being kept in the dark Miranda. There is no need for smoke and mirrors here." Shepard was giving off her signature growl of a face but Miranda seemed unaffected and simply stood up and began walking away.

"You'll find out when we get there Commander. Until then….it's classified." Jane wanted to say something back but for once in her life she didn't have a snappy comeback to neuter the former Cerberus cheerleader. Staying silent she leaned back into her seat. Shepard turned to Jack hoping for some sympathy but Jack just shrugged her shoulders and then made her way to the lift to take her down below.

Jack had always been a rule breaker. Shepard was surprised the tattooed biotic warrior wasn't going to spill. It was a surprising sign of maturity from the once unstable convict. How did Miranda and Jack manage to cooperate, was she the only one holding their union together? Jane began to ponder how deep their friendship actually went, or even if they'd ever be friends at all. She always caught Jack staring at Miranda. As if she wanted approval of some sort.

It was an obtuse gaze; she wasn't sure how to read it. An enigma of sorts in body language. At times it seemed Jack was searching her mind, reliving memories of her childhood with Cerberus. Jane could see the ripples from the veins form on Jack's forehead. At other times Jack looked at Miranda like one would a painting, examining her from afar; deciding how she felt about the woman.

Perhaps Miranda had made some conditions with Jack, some sort of agreement that would keep the rebel at bay. It was the only truly plausible answer to why Jack would ever let Miranda take any real authority over her. Then again despite their issues Jack was willing to be led by Miranda at several points during their time on the Normandy.

Of course it could be….no….no, Jack's staring at Miranda was purely scientific. There was nothing behind it other than a fascination with Lawson's genetically perfect body. Even Jane had caught herself looking a few times; she had never really gone through an "experimental" stage as a kid with the female gender. That orientation never crossed her sexual spectrum, she was however embarrassed when her mother had caught her with an issue of Fornax. She had been admiring some tantalizing photos of the Drell and had her hand stuffed down her gym shorts when her mother had come in to offer her some lunch.

Shepard both chuckled and winced at the awkward memory. Her mother had immediately walked back out of the room like she hadn't seen anything. Lunch was silent on her end and her mother had tried her best to ask her if she knew any cute boys at school. Jane had remained silent. After her mother accepted the topic was way too prying she had switched gears to ask her about how her basketball was going.

Basketball. There was something Jane hadn't thought about for a while; she had wanted to play basketball at one point. It was one of those silly kid dreams, she wasn't that good actually. She was a fast dribbler and a decent shot but she had no defense. Jane wondered if that had contributed to her fighting style where she relied "too heavily on her shields" according to her trainer during basic combat. Jane was not afraid to take a couple of shots in her shield and then get to cover. A dangerous tactic that had almost gotten her killed on a number of occasions.

"They're expecting me to get to cover!" Jane argued with her drill sergeant at one point while doing her forty-second pushup. Her drill sergeant just shook her head and sighed.

"They're expecting you to get to cover because otherwise you'll die! Those shields aren't a guarantee soldier!"

Shepard could be a little shit sometimes, but that attitude has also paid off greatly. If she hadn't been so bullheaded she probably would have never got into the N7 program let alone excel in it. All of that had led her to get under Anderson's command and then eventually be made Specter. The constant balancing act of her life; when to be a hero and when to be a straight up asshole.

Jane felt her stomach growl and realized she hadn't eaten in a while. Sighing she signaled for help from Kelly Chambers. Chambers rushed over and bombarded Jane with suggestions for food, the Commander grinned. "You know a grilled cheese sandwich would be more than fine, but if you could slice a few tomatoes in there that'd be nice."

"Oh, I don't cook Commander."

"That's not really cooking…okay, get one of the chefs to make it."

Kelly nodded her head and was off. Jane laughed to herself as she began to listen to the silent hum of the Oslo. The thoughts of the relationship dynamic between Miranda and Jack fading into her subconscious.

* * *

When the Oslo finally touched down on Yamm Shepard was itching to go ashore. It's not that ship life bothered her, but she truly wanted to get moving and find out what exactly was going on. The intrigue was killing her and she had to know what this biofuel planet had to do with the missing Normandy crew. Who in the galaxy would know the location of her crew and be here? Shepard had never even been on the planet before. Nor did it require any defense during the Reaper attack. What could possibly be so important about this place?

All Shepard knew for sure was that the planet was scorching hot. Even with their suits on everyone had to lather on sunblock and had to put on a minimal amount of under armor. Despite the air being technically breathable it was a chore and felt like walking through a sauna and trying to breathe through a straw.

"It takes a while to get used to, but the colonists here adapt and eventually barely even notice it" explained Miranda as she and Jack led her off the ship. Jane searched around as they walked down a cobblestone walkway towards an industrial looking tavern. It had the kitsch aesthetic of an old meat-packing factory and their sign was simply a giant knife with the words "Onion Cleaver" on top.

"You uh, hungry?" asked Shepard as she looked at Jack. Jack simply looked away not wanting to make eye contact with Jane. Shepard raised an eyebrow and instinctively grew uncomfortable. Something was amiss.

The city of New Karnak was relatively large, for such a small population and this seemed to keep the city from getting too dense. There were trees everywhere that had to be as tall as California redwoods, they were powerful and majestic. The sun and the environment must've grown these plants like wildfire. It seemed almost like a toned down version of Pragia.

The heat was taking some getting used to as they walked up to the tavern the ocean provided a breeze, but it brought little comfort from the immense heat. Shepard was already sweating when they finally entered the tavern. The walk had taken extraneously long due to Shepard having to be carried every step of the way. As they entered the air conditioning blasted onto her face, finally allowing her to breathe comfortably again.

The tavern seemed to be pretty empty; there were a few scattered patrons and some staff but it felt like a slow day for the business. The blinds were all closed too, only streaks of light were managing to get through, giving the room a rather somber feel.

"So who is our contact?" asked Jane looking around at the mostly human occupied room.

"Commander Shepard!" it was almost belted by a woman's voice that Jane vaguely recognized. Jane spun towards the corner of the tavern where she had heard the noise. And there sitting in the corner was First Lieutenant Kahlee Sanders. Shepard approached her at first with a small smile. Sanders was a capable leader and was highly regarded by David Anderson both as a soldier and personal friend.

Shepard's smile vanished however when she noticed that Kahlee was drinking out of a glass; whiskey on the rocks. There were similar glasses arranged around her, all empty. She had to have at least six glasses. Not to mention the shot glasses she also noticed. Kahlee was red in the face and was sloppily smirking.

"Commander Jane Shepard….Alliance navy" cooed Kahlee Sanders as she took a big sip from her glass. Jack moved in sitting down next to Kahlee and talked to her in a low voice.

"Dammit Sanders, you said you'd stay sober for this shit! You can't just say her name out loud, anyone could be listening!" Jack's words were angry but her voice had a hint of concern in them. Sanders had helped Jack find purpose in life, and now here she was a literal wreck. Jane could fill in the gaps of just how long Sanders had been drinking.

"Lieutenant Sanders…" Jane was cut off by Kahlee putting her finger up to her own lips and shushing her. Jane frowned.

"Didn't you hear Jack? Gotta be quiet, people might hear."

"Why are we meeting at a tavern, why not your house?"

"My house is bugged, I mean I think I've removed some of the bugs, but no way all of them. Couldn't risk it. I may no longer be Alliance but they're still keeping tabs on me."

"No longer Alliance? What? But you helped on the Crucible project. They can't fire you."

"I wasn't fired, I was….'honorably discharged' at least that's what they put on my record. Thank God they did otherwise I'd never be able to get a job. Been working as a supervisor over with one of those start up bio-tech companies. My knowledge of computers came in handy. Pay's good, job is shit, but hey."

Miranda turned her back to the conversation, scanning the room to make sure nobody was listening. Jack was silent, unable to look Kahlee in the eyes. Jane just stared at her. The beautiful woman had seen better days, it looked like she had lost an unhealthy amount of weight, her hair was thinning and her eyes were blood shot. She was drinking herself to death. What had gone wrong?

"Kahlee, please I need your help. I need your help finding the Normandy."

"Why? So you can find Garrus? He's probably dead."

Now Jack did interject grabbing Sander's shoulders roughly and shaking her a bit causing the former Lieutenant to spill a bit of her drink. "You're out of line Sanders!" Kahlee just laughed a bit, Jack leaned herself back; no longer wanting to touch the blonde drunk.

"I'm just being honest! Garrus and that Normandy crew are probably dead, my info is outdated, it's probably just a wild goose chase. I have very little way of confirming if it's even true."

Jane felt her heart sink. This was her only chance? This drunk woman before her? What a joke. She had once been one of the most powerful and well respected women in the Alliance and now she was just some beach bum. Shepard watched as Kahlee reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out some marijuana and some rolling papers.

"Ya'll want a quick puff? Not Alliance anymore after springing Shepard anyway. Might as well, could be fun. It's the good stuff got it from this one guy down by the wharf. They grow it on these floating gardens."

Jack smacked the rolling papers and weed out of Kahlee's hands and even Shepard was a bit shocked. Kahlee didn't even flinch she just kept laughing. "Whoa, party foul! Ha! Jane, honey could you pick that up for me. That shit is expensive."

Jane didn't move instead she locked eyes with Sanders. Eyes burning with frustration and confusion. "Sanders,….Kahlee please help me. Tell me what you know if there is any chance I can save them you know I have to take it. I was supposed to die, not them. I have to find them, I promised them I wouldn't leave them behind. They're my family Kahlee!"

There was a long pause, Kahlee's cocky smile soon dissipated and she put down her drink with a hard thunk onto the table. "Did he mention me?" Kahlee asked with an abrupt softness.

"Mention you? Who?"

"Ander-…David, did David mention me? You know, before he died?"

That's what this was all about. David Anderson. The man she cared for, loved, but it never quite worked out. The timing never hit, they were always dancing around each other. Their work getting in the way of their passion. Jane felt a ping of guilt for not realizing what was wrong sooner. She had been the last person to see David alive.

"I asked him if he was going to start a family. He thought it was too late. The Illusive man had mortally wounded him…no…I had. The Illusive man he…he got inside my mind. He made me pull the trigger. Oh God, I didn't want to. He forced me too! The reapers were trying to indoctrinate me and Anderson wanted to destroy them, they tried to keep me from doing it! Kahlee I am so sorry. I am so sorry! But I know he loved you, I know he was thinking about you. You meant so much to him, he had an apartment he wanted to start a life with you. And….I'm sorry…"

Kahlee sat there for a moment in silence, fighting back tears. Her eyes even more red than before. Jane had blurted it all out, it was the first time she had talked to anyone about what exactly had happened up in the Crucible. Until now it had been her dirty little secret, and it never dawned on her how in the dark the rest of the galaxy was. Kahlee could hold back no longer "Do, you think, do you think I would have made a good mom?" Jane just placed her hand on Kahlee's and Kahlee began to sob and buried her face in her hands. "Oh Shepard, I miss him so much!"

The trio remained quiet while Kahlee got out her tears, they comforted her and Jack even put her hand gently on Kahlee's shoulder. Miranda turned around to see Kahlee holding Jack and Shepard tightly. She made eye contact with Jack but quickly looked away.

"Kahlee, tell us what you know. Tell us what is going on. Where is the Normandy?"

Kahlee wiped away her tears and then finished off the last of her whiskey. "I don't know where it is, but I know how you can find it. When I was on the Normandy with the Grissom Academy kids EDI had me install a tracking device of some kind. It was a contingency plan; with computing power of her size she knew one day we might need it. Problem is it requires deciphering some complex quantum entanglements. These can only be read if we can get the comm buoys up."

"Where are these comm buoys?" asked Jack stealing a glance at Jane whom she could tell was itching for the answer. Kahlee sniffed, snorting up the built up mucus from her crying and drinking.

"Ontarom, the comm buoys have to be turned on at a station on Ontarom. It's been taken over by what's left of the Batarian pirates. We'll need to storm their makeshift castle so to speak."

"We?" asked Shepard inquisitively. Dreading what she was about to hear next.

"I'm coming with you Commander. First Lieutenant Kahlee Sanders, I'm not fit for duty but I'm still one of the best techs ya' got. You need me, don't even try to argue."

Jane looked at Jack; the two were trying to have a telepathic conversation. They knew this was a terrible idea, but they also had little choice. And they couldn't exactly leave Kahlee here, not like this.

"You've got to stay dry Sanders, if a drop of alcohol even touches your lips…"

Kahlee raised up her hand defensively. "Don't worry Commander, I know how to take orders."


	5. Hint of Bergamot

**Hint of Bergamot**

"You were wrong you know" Shepard lay on her back, in only a sports bra and loose fitting sweats. Her back was resting gently on the legs of Garrus who sat upright in her bed. He was in nothing more than a very large gray t-shirt and blue shorts. Shepard could feel the hard scales of his body lifting her back off the bed.

"Wrong? Wrong about what, this I gotta hear" said Garrus with a wry smile. The Turian looked down at her and lightly stroked her crimson hair. The suicide mission has been just 12 hours ago; they were now headed back to the Citadel. They would inform Anderson what they knew and hopefully get back to preparing for the Reapers. Tali had been smart enough to take photos with her omni tool of the Reaper base, hoping it would spur conclusive evidence for Shepard to take back to the council. Shepard doubted it would help, but she owed it to the galaxy to try. She almost chuckled at the triteness that phrase provoked.

"You said you didn't have a fetish for humans. EDI alerted me to some of your more interesting uh,…search history." Garrus paused for a moment, he let out a huff. Then titled his head upwards.

"EDI! You know damn well that Joker sent me those!" flickering blue light and then EDI the Normandy's AI appeared with it's calm, professional and yet smoky voice cooing into the room.

"Jeff thought that you'd like to know more about the female anatomy. He claims it was for research. Though considering how much 'research' he had on his laptop I doubt it's academic value."

"You're a little spy you know that EDI?" laughed Garrus with feigned anger.

"Logging you out" said EDI, if the AI had eyes Shepard swore it would have winked. There was a slight pause and then both Jane and Garrus chuckled together.

"Don't worry Garrus, I knew nobody could know those moves without some sort of visual aide." Garrus was now blushing a bit. He coughed and turned his head to the side, focusing his eyes on the impressive model ship collection in Shepard's cabin.

"How do you know it wasn't from past experience?"

"I've read Fornax once or twice in my time. I know Turian women are much more flexible than I am."

"Though you get an A for effort."

"And you get a B in stamina."

"I'll get better after a few more calibrations."

The two smiled and Shepard got up to cuddle next to Garrus now, instinctively Garrus began spooning her as she relaxed and breathed in deeply. Shepard sniffed the air and could catch his scent; Bergamot, he always smelled like Bergamot, at least when he wasn't in battle. Garrus had explained to her that scent could attract Vorcha and varren to their position. But around her, he always smelled nice. Always.

She wondered what she smelled like to him. What smell did he associate with her? She never wore perfume, except maybe on the rarest of occasions. Her curiosity was building but she was afraid to ask, Garrus was the kind of guy to make up something ridiculous just to mess with her, she wanted an honest answer.

She leaned her back into his chest and softly raised her voice to him. "Garrus, what do I smell like?" There was a pause; Garrus seemed to be trying to form an answer his mouth opening, faint sound of Turian noises coming in.

"Sawdust."

"Garrus!" Shepard had called it; she knew he couldn't be serious about this. Why did she even bother? For such a surprisingly gentle man he sure loved to poke fun of her. Garrus locked eyes with Jane and saw her desire, he took a slight breath.

"Jasmine, you smell like jasmine."

"Jasmine? I wonder where that comes from?"

"Doesn't have to come from anywhere, you just have it."

"Jasmine…I like that."

And with that Jane began to drift off to sleep in Vakarian's arms.

* * *

Shepard was roused by the smell of bergamot, it had permeated her senses and a little whiff was all she needed to believe she was laying in the same bed as Garrus. Much to her mundane dismay she was still on the Oslo; the source of the smell was some Earl Grey being made by Kolyat.

"Commander Shepard, you're awake."

"Barely" Jane groaned feeling stiffness in her remaining joints. She wasn't sure what time it was, space travel had caused her to never really have a true idea of night and day. Checking her watch set to galactic standard time it read 0710 hours. "How long was I out for?" Shepard was in the CIC of the Oslo resting on a chaise style recliner.

Kolyat walked over to Shepard carrying a tray of different kinds of teas and small pastries. When Kolyat wasn't studying the lessons of the priests he had become quite the baker. As talented as her squadmates were none of them were really great bakers or cooks. Ashley Williams had been the best she recalled, having to take care of her younger sisters had made her quite resourceful. Wrex was surprisingly a fairly decent cook when given the right ingredients; they all had been surprised when Wrex managed to make a delicious chicken potpie, or at least she thought it was chicken. Wrex later joked that it was actually roasted pyjack. Shepard couldn't tell if he was joking or not and decided she'd rather not know.

Wrex. How she could use his help on this mission, she had asked Samara at one point if Wrex would be joining them. The Asari justicar admitted they were not able to hail Urdnot Wrex due to scrambled communications and him having been called for an emergency on Tuchanka. The emergency was related to settling some potential clan warfare before it got out of control. Shepard was being selfish, she knew that he had a lot on his plate but she wished her friend was with her. Plus he could knock a few heads around if it came to that.

Kolyat presented the tray of teas to her. "Tea, commander?" Jane studied the tray for a moment looking over the selection of goods. She wasn't feeling very hungry, even though she knew she needed some food. Regardless a sugary pastry was not what she was craving, but a quick glance at Kolyat's eyes told her that taking anything less would be an insult. She grabbed the cheese Danish and then took a porcelain cup. "What kind of tea would you like?"

Shepard paused then grinned a bit. "Give me the Earl Grey and the jasmine please." Kolyat quickly gave her the tea bags and helped pour in the hot water and set down the light breakfast for Shepard. The steam came out of the cup with a fury as she slowly sipped it, feeling the hot liquid on her lips. It was just what she needed, smiling at the young Krios she gave him praise. "Thank you Kolyat, much appreciated."

Kolyat nodded at her and then went to go see if Samara needed any stimulation. As Jane sipped on her tea Kelly Chambers came to sit next to her. Shepard and Chambers said nothing at first just enjoying their moment. Chambers was nibbling at some sort of shortbread concoction.

"Kelly, I hope this question isn't too personal" Shepard braced herself for the recoil by Chambers but no such thing came. Instead she perked up and turned to Jane with her usual warm demeanor.

"There's nothing too personal you can ask me Commander. I owe you my life; please ask away. I'm an open book." Shepard hesitated. Kelly was almost too eager to spill, she wondered if she had any idea what question she was about to ask, based on the way Kelly grimaced after she made the inquiry: she was not expecting it at all.

"What gave you the courage to come back onto a mission. I remember we had spoken….gosh has it been a year already? A year ago we were talking and you said you never wanted to come back onto the Normandy. I thought it also extended to any other ships to be honest.

Kelly paused for a moment, Shepard closely observed how her usually lax body language tensed up and she stared off towards the hull as if she was gathering data on her response.

"Miranda was the one who contacted me. She told me that you needed me; I have to admit at first I didn't plan on coming. I told her I was done with the whole spacefaring adventure of a life I had once romanticized. But then Operative Lawson gave me some crushing perspective."

"What was it?"

"As many times as you had helped saved other people, other folks…it was time we delivered for you."

Shepard didn't have a response to that. Kelly sensed this and continued.

"That was the kick in the pants I needed. After that it was just a matter of being there for you. I packed a foot locker worth of stuff and was on my way." Kelly chuckled to herself "Of course then I found out the actual execution of the plan wasn't for another month. So I got some things in order and sublet my apartment to be here. Though with no mass effect relays who knows how long we could be out here. Even with FTL speeds, it doesn't beat the mass effect canons."

Shepard simply gave a quick smile, it was a reality she didn't want to think about. Anytime she wasn't near Garrus meant that he could possibly be closer to death.

"Sorry, I'm rambling. I don't get out a lot anymore so I've kinda become a chatty Cathy."

"Become a chatty Cathy? Kelly, I think that description was accurate long before now."

Kelly and Jane shared a laugh on that note. Shepard was then paged on her omni tool. It was Jack she sounded worried "Hey Shepard, can you uh,…can someone get you down here? We need to talk."

* * *

Minutes later with the help of Kolyat Shepard had been dropped off in Jack's private chambers. Changed from her days in the basement of the engineering level she now slept in a small, non-descript but still comfortable room. Miranda was joining them they both wore a face of concern and Jack seemed fidgety; more so than usual.

"Cut to the chase Jack. What's going on?"

Jack looked at Miranda momentarily before speaking "So uh, I messed up big time. Like shit the bed."

Jane tried to her best to sit up, the tone in Jack's voice sounded so…apologetic. What had she done? Jack wasn't able to focus so Miranda cut in in a much more curt manner.

"I received a transmission from Jacob through a secure channel. He says that when we picked up Kahlee Sanders the Alliance was able to track us through her. They don't know our exact location but they do know that Sanders is with us. And right now they are assuming one of two things: that either Sanders is a traitor or that we kidnapped her. Both could lead to capital punishment."

"Dammit, I thought you told me Sanders was low on the priority list! I thought her house was just bugged." Shepard couldn't believe this, now their problems were about to get a whole lot worse. Finding her old squad was going to be hard enough, but with the Alliance truly on their tail now…it was going to be damn near impossible.

"I'm sorry Shepard, it's my fault. I messed up! I should have never brought Sanders, she isn't even in fighting shape anymore. It was a waste" Jack stared down at the floor and Jane thought lasers were going to come out of her eyes and tear through the hull based on her intensity. Miranda placed a hand on Jack's shoulder and rubbed it tenderly.

"Jack, you can't blame yourself. How was anyone supposed to know?" Jack didn't respond, but Shepard could tell Miranda's touch was oddly calming the former Subject Zero down. A few years ago this would have caused the death of Miranda. What had changed? She was still trying to figure it out; maybe she could pry it out of one of them soon. Bigger fish to fry at the moment.

"It gets worse" Miranda started. Shepard couldn't believe how it could possibly get worse but decided to wait and not interrupt the genetically perfect biotic. Miranda flashed an image on the screen it appeared to be a rendering of a liver. "This is Kahlee Sanders' liver, it's trashed. With some really good money and proper equipment we could reverse this. She is fully aware of the state of her liver and gave us and Dr. Michel this information freely, but it's not good."

"How bad are we talking here?" Shepard leaned in, ready to hear the assessment.

"She should be dead right now Shepard. I don't know what's keeping her alive, blind luck at this point. She let it go on too long, she's also got high blood pressure and while we are working on it she is currently at a very high risk of stroke."

"Shepard she's drinking herself to death….I think it's on purpose."

Shepard took a breath; she had a suicidal security risk on her ship. On a mission where one mistake could land them all in jail or dead. Various solutions were flying through her head, all were fairly grim for Sanders. Miranda interjected excusing Jane from stating the obvious.

"We can still drop her off somewhere. The Kepler Verge doesn't have a lot of habitable planets but Ontarom does have several ports and colonies where she could be cared for. Most people are leaving the planet due to the decaying moon but that's still decades in the making."

"We'll make a decision when we get there. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yeah Aria T'Loak contacted us as well" Jack said while rubbing the back of her neck.

"Aria? What does she want?" asked Shepard with an air of genuine surprise.

"To help us apparently" said Miranda with a bit of hesitation.

"Yeah, and at what price? Come on, you know she always has one" chided Shepard.

"Indeed, and you aren't going to like it" sighed Miranda.

"Well what is it?"

"She claims she has the resources to help us find the Normandy once we reach Ontarom. She plans to meet us there but the price for finding the Normandy is…quite high."

"Oh come on Miranda, spit it out!" Shepard was getting irritated now; there were so many wrinkles in the plan now. She was beginning to question the futility of the mission.

"She wants the Normandy Shepard. Aria wants to keep the ship" blurted out Jack. Shepard's pupils shrank as she curved her lips to start cussing out the purple skinned Asari's name.

 **AN: Wow sorry it took me so freaking long to update. I ended up writing a play that was in a festival so it took a lot out of me. But I'm back, thank you to everyone whose stuck with this story! Next chapter will be up soon I won't make you wait long for this one. Promise!**


	6. Devil in the Details

**Devil in the Details**

Shepard was digging her knuckles into her nose; transfixed in thought as the shuttle landed on Ontarom. Accompanying her was Grunt and Miranda. Jack has stayed on board the Normandy to keep an eye on Kahlee Sanders and ensure she didn't start drinking again.

Shepard had still not made a decision on whether to hand over the Normandy or not. She wanted to hear what Aria had to say and she wanted to gauge how badly she actually needed the ruthless leader's help. Grunt as Joker had once put it was not a "stabilizing presence" but he would fall in line with whatever decision Jane made. Shepard needed the young Krogan there to be her teeth. She knew Aria would see her as weak on first impression.

She couldn't even imagine how she would appear to a fierce and hardened warrior like T'Loak. She would be hobbling along with her stubs and her weathered face and have to act like she was in control; something Aria would be able to tell in half a second was almost completely spurious.

Aided by Miranda she was helped out of the shuttle and across a small field towards a building structure. Shepard looked up at the afternoon sky, it very much reminded her of a trip she had taken while still in the academy to the Grand Canyon. Ontarom looked like some frankensteined cross between Arizona and New Mexico, which gave it a familiar yet uncanny atmosphere.

The last time she was here it was to help Grace Sato a communications specialist for the Alliance, she had been so frightened of the Cerberus troops that she was nearly difficult to work with. Not that Shepard blamed her; having to have seen so many of her friends and colleagues cut down had to be unnerving. Sato would not be on this planet most likely; she had been reassigned to the Crucible project. She couldn't imagine Sato would want to work here after the trauma she experienced. She wondered if she was becoming more like Sato and less like herself with each passing day. She could feel her nerves unravelling at every pass, but she couldn't let it show. Even though she was doing a bad job at even that.

* * *

As she got closer to some of the small buildings lining up the colony of Ontarom she saw a welcomed face: Bray. The Batarian was waiting for her and the crew with a hover-chair. A wheelchair that would allow Shepard complete control and mobility without assistance.

"It's for you Shepard" he said warmly, Jane trusted him. While Aria always had ulterior motives Bray was much more honest and while 'gentile' wasn't exactly a word she would use to describe him he did seem much more personable than most of Aria's men.

Jane sat in the chair and immediately felt like she had regained some control. While the chair would make her handicap more pronounced in certain ways it also gave her more power over her own situation. She felt a bit more like herself again and could feel her snarky smirk bubbling back up.

"Gifts from Aria to butter me up?" She asked with a smile directed at the bodyguard. He grinned and then shook his head to signify the negative.

"No Shepard, this one is from me. Figured I owed ya' one."

Shepard was a bit surprised by this but laughed and patted Bray on the arm "You're okay Bray, thank you. I mean it." Bray said nothing instead he quietly led them into a small commercial building.

Standing in the lobby was Aria T'Loak looking trendy in some cut off black jumpsuit that hugged her hips. She was surrounded by a few Vorcha and Sayn the Salarian she had assisted in becoming leader of the Eclipse mercenary group. He was wearing some prototype armor that looked more expensive than most apartments.

Jane allowed Miranda and Grunt to flank her and step forward a bit, showing off her force. Shepard in good health had managed to wipe out entire platoons of Eclipse nearly single handedly; though she was hoping for a more peaceful encounter this time around.

"Commander Shepard, I'm so glad we could meet" Shepard felt her body tighten up. Aria was acting a bit too cheerful and cocky. It was never a good thing when Aria was too happy, not that her being angry towards you was any better. She could feel the purple skinned Asari walking towards her and suddenly the memory of her grabbing her and kissing her came back. They hadn't talked since that incident and she wasn't sure exactly what energy she was feeling from the leader of Omega. She barely glanced at Grunt and Miranda as she got just outside of striking distance from the former Commander.

"I almost didn't think you'd come" said Aria with smug posture.

"Well I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by" the two women were starting the dance. She knew what Aria wanted and Aria knew what she wanted, but why was the bigger question. And Shepard wasn't going to bend unless she knew all the factors in play.

"So I'm sure you've been briefed on this little meeting."

"Yes, but I am only here out of respect Aria. You know I can't give you the Normandy, couldn't even if I wanted to. It's Alliance property."

"Oh cut the girl scout crap. You know damn well the moment you give that ship back to the Alliance you will be in handcuffs."

"I am the literal savior of earth, don't think they want to show me on the extranet being taken away."

"There's nothing that the Alliance or council space does that surprises me at this point. They put you on house arrest almost the second you came back from stopping the collectors. What's to stop them again?"

"Public outcry."

"They'd never officially say you were under arrest, no, you'd just be confined to whatever condo they decided to give you. The little pet or living relic of the Reaper wars."

Shepard felt that one. There was some truth to those words from Aria; the Alliance was not going to play nice with her. That was a fact. She couldn't let herself dig too deep into that though. It was time to shift gears.

"Why do you want the Normandy anyway? It's a great ship, but you rarely even leave Omega."

"I would do it more often if I had a ship with it's stealth capabilities. The surviving colonies are desperate Shepard, it'd be easy to start forming a more sophisticated network."

"That's what this is all about, you couldn't just be satisfied with Omega, now you want more planets! Have you no shame?"

"Why do you think I'm on this planet? Ontarom is one of the few planets with mass quantum comms that is still operable. But even then you still need to know where to point it, and I know which system the Normandy is in."

Shepard paused, how could Aria know? What was she holding back? She could feel her heart rate increasing; Aria was winning this battle of wits. She was holding way too many cards and it was becoming obvious Jane had very few.

"How do I even know you are telling the truth?" It was a testing question, Shepard knew that if Aria wasn't serious she wouldn't step foot off of Omega, but she was hoping it would buy her some time and also potentially get Aria to slip up. There was no such luck however.

"Why would I lie to you about the Normandy's location if I want the ship itself? Did you lose part of your brain when you crashed on earth as well?" Shepard felt Grunt tense up, and she even felt Bray fidget a bit. Aria's face softened for a brief moment and then she adjusted her posture. "Apologies, that was cruel. I know you've been through a lot."

Shepard had no response to give, she was just wondering what Aria would say next and was hoping the silence would force her hand. The ruler of Omega turned to her men briefly and then sighed and stepped forward to look Jane closer in the eye.

"Shepard, you will never find the Normandy without my help. I just want the ship; you aren't going to have it when this is all over anyway. Stop holding onto it."

Shepard mulled over this, Aria was right. She was kidding herself if she thought she was ever going to command the Normandy ever again. She just needed to make sure her crew was safe again. Nothing else truly mattered.

"Okay Aria, you win" she could see a satisfied smirk creep onto the purple Asari's face but then it began to vanish as she continued. "But…you'll need to do one thing for me. I'll need you to help me, Garrus and anyone else in my crew who wants to disappear do so."

Aria did not hesitate "Done." Aria turned to discuss with her men as Shepard looked at Grunt whose eyes were drooping a bit, she had disappointed him. The Krogan was expecting the great Commander Shepard to put up more of a fight, and maybe six months ago Jane would have…but now she clearly wasn't up to task.

"I'll be sending some of my crew to help you on the Oslo shortly." Miranda cut in before Shepard could say anything.

"The system Aria, we want it now."

Aria raised her omni-tool and began to type some notes in. "I'm sending it to your omni-tool Miranda. Make sure to sync it with the Normandy." Aria began to step forward as she typed. Keeping her eye on her glowing arm. "Now when you get there it will be important to…"

Aria was violently cut off by a bullet going right through her back and out of her stomach. It was from Sayn who had a menacing growl on his face as he began firing along with some of the other Vorcha and Batarians. Aria collapsed onto the ground clutching her bleeding wound as Grunt got in front of Shepard to shield her from bullets.

Miranda set a biotic shockwave pushing many of the soldiers back. Bray ran to Aria's side to lift her up as he did however several bullets passed through his neck and skull. He was dead before hitting the ground. "Get Lawson! We need those coordinates!" Sayn was yelling, clearly in control as many of the mercs began to close in around the Normandy crew.

"What the hell is happening?!" Shepard reached for Aria who used the wheelchair to prop herself up as Miranda created a large biotic barrier. It wouldn't hold for very long.

Aria coughed blood "What the hell does it look like?! Kill them!" Aria pointed to the traitorous mercs and Grunt began to charge and tore through several Vorcha quite quickly. However Sayn opened a door and slobbering Varren gnashing their sharp teeth came out and began to slow Grunt down.

Shepard reached into her side holster and fired her M-6 Carnifex which took out a few men and nearly got Sayn himself who ducked just in time. "Keep firing" Sayn ordered as the group was now being forced into a corner. "Send in the big guns!"

At that moment a small canon of some sort was rolled in. It looked lethal and Miranda hesitated unable to fire an overload in time as the canon blasted everyone back. Sending Shepard flying out of her chair and into the wall; back first. Shepard plopped into a heap, out cold. Miranda reached for her sidearm but was grabbed by multiple Vorcha who subdued her.

"Let go of me you beasts!" Miranda struggled against them, cooling down from her biotic barrier she was at the moment defenseless. Sayn strolled up to her arrogantly with his hands behind his back. Stepping over Grunt who had taken the brunt of the canon blast. It wasn't even clear if he was still alive, if he was he was definitely regenerating.

"Bring her with us" ordered Sayn firmly. A metallic band was placed over Miranda's skull instantly placing her into some sort of electrically induced coma. "Carry her Nir" said Sayn pointing to a rather large Batarian who grabbed Miranda and began to hoist her over his shoulder.

"What about them?" Nir pointed to a badly injured Aria who was panting trying her best to sit up, her clothes drenched in her own blood. Sayn seemed to ponder the decision for a moment and then pivoted to leave.

"Leave them, I've already contacted the Alliance before our meeting. They'll be in custody before we even leave this system. The bounty wanted them alive." Sayn and his men left just moments before Grunt had partially regened, getting up and holding his head he immediately went and revived Shepard whose pupils were dilated; most likely from a concussion.

"Shepard! Are you okay?"

"Grunt,…warn the others. Get Miranda!"

Grunt wasted no time hailing the remaining crew on the Oslo "The bastards betrayed Aria! They have Miranda, they're getting away!" There was only a scream of rage from Jack that could be heard. Grunt ran out of the building to see Jack sprinting towards the much too far ship leaving with Miranda. Grunt knew he was much too far to reach the ship in time, it was well over 1,000 yards, but Jack had a chance. But even she appeared desperate chasing after them.

"Miri!" Jack screamed as she ran across the desert field, the ship began to fly off and Jack shot out a biotic pull to grab the ship as it was trying to thrust. Amazingly it was working and the ship was slowing down. "Oh no you don't! Get back down here you lousy sons of bitches!" For a moment it seemed as if Jack would prevail but a quick laser shot right in front of Jack collapsed the ground beneath her creating a crater and sending Jack falling into it.

The ship then blasted away as Jack crawled up just in time to see the ship carrying Miranda zoom out of the atmosphere. "Miranda" Jack cried as she laid her face in the dirt; banging her fists onto the ground.

Grunt turned his attention back to Shepard who was tending to Aria whose breathing was shallow and quick. "Aria hold on, we have medi-gel. We'll get you okay!" Shepard was using as much medi-gel as possible on Aria but it wasn't stopping the bleeding. Aria gently put her hand on Shepard's arm.

"Shepard…." There was a moment between the two warriors, Aria's eyes were so clear and shiny, they almost looked like marbles for a moment. Her angular jaw titled up so that she could better see Jane. Shepard was still, unsure on how to react.

"Take the data from my omni-tool. You have to get out of here before the Alliance comes." Shepard nodded solemnly, in her fading moments Aria was helping Shepard; this time no strings attached. "Tell that Turian of yours….he's a very lucky man. Tell him I said that. When you see him. After you kill those bastards!"

Shepard tried to hold up Aria as she began to go loose at the limbs. "Aria, stay with me, Dr. Michel will get out here and she will patch you up!"

"Yourba" was all Aria said softly, her voice cracking.

"Yourba? Who is Yourba?"

"My mom. My mommy…." And with that Aria slumped over and went stiff. The queen of Omega was dead.

Author's Note: Reviews and feedback is always appreciated!


	7. Jack & Miranda

**Jack & Miranda**

Jack made her way down a winding staircase. Wearing black joggers and a crop top as she felt her sore legs ripple with every step down. The final push against the Reapers had been intense; she was with her students giving biotic support for the Alliance and their allies. If she hadn't asked Shepard to push for it her students would have been in the infantry and would have been slaughtered by the Reaper forces. A lot of people were wiped out almost instantly even with Turian and Krogan support. She silently thanked Shepard for all of that, wondering if she would ever hear from her former leader again.

She had always been a bit hard on Shepard. Sure she was a bit of a do-gooder and her speeches inspired her to roll her eyes; but when the chips were down there was nobody else better to be at your side. The official Alliance report was that Shepard was MIA after an explosive blast inside the crucible. Nobody had expected she had survived, Jack knew she was a tough bird…but there's only so much one person can do. Or take.

Right now it was time to focus on rebuilding. The Grissom Academy wasn't suitable for habitation at the moment. Some of her students had been badly hurt during the battle. Viola had lost an eye when a stray Cannibal had managed to blast close enough to send debris into her oculus. They would give her some sort of ocular implants soon, but she was going to be out of commission for a while. Hell, everyone was going to be out of commission for a bit. That left Jack with idle hands for the moment, and she was worried that it could lead to some poor decisions.

Kahlee Sanders had lost her equilibrium when she found out David Anderson had perished. It was brutal watching her reaction; it was Major Coats that had drawn the short straw to deliver the news. Jack could feel other soldiers and officers leaving the room. Only she and Rodriguez stayed as a crying Kahlee sat in a leather lounge chair holding her face, like if anyone could get a good look at it she would burst into flames.

Jack moved slowly with Ensign Rodriguez towards the chair with Rodriguez placing a soft hand on the shoulder of one of the most important women in her life. Kahlee was just sobbing at this point, unable to speak any words. Jack wanted to say something, just to let Sanders know how much she cared for her. But she was never good at the 'mushy' stuff and she was afraid of making it worse. She could say the wrong thing and set her off. It was better just to have Rodriguez there. "It's okay Lieutenant. It's okay." Sanders was once again silent, too silent. Jack waited for her to speak, give them a gauge of what she was thinking. Finally after what felt like an eternity the words came out.

"Rodriguez, I heard you saved some injured civilians at a makeshift camp."

"Yes Ma'am. I did."

"Good. Good work."

And with that Sanders got up and left them to be alone. Jack just glanced at Rodriguez who was fixated on the gray floor tapping her feet. The former Subject Zero figured it was best to get Rodriguez back to the mess hall and then leave. She had seen enough for the day.

After dropping Rodriguez off she had made her way down to her quarters. She was sharing with nine other Alliance officers. They were the quiet bunch, which Jack appreciated. They never asked her about her tattoos, they never asked her much about Grissom and for the most part they seemed like good enough people. Perfect. It was when she got in and noticed nobody was there that she raised an eyebrow. She had never been alone in the quarters, where was everyone?

"Hello Jack" Jack spun towards the direction of the voice; that voice belonged to one Miranda Lawson. She was standing with her legs crossed; leaning against one of the bunks. Her arms were crossed and in the dim light of the quarters she almost came off as mysterious.

"Cheerleader? Better watch it, next time I might just send a biotic blast into your skull for good measure." Jack stepped forward and turned on the lights illuminating the woman who had apparently gone to the spa right after the Reaper battle. She still was perfect, even her hair was fully primped. It made Jack's stomach turn how effortlessly beautiful she was.

"Oh come now Jack, you and I both know that you're all bark and no bite when it comes to me. You missed me."

"Hardly, I was just getting comfortable actually."

"You? Comfortable, that seems like an oxymoron."

"Did you come all this way to insult me? Don't you have to pull Oriana's ass out of a fire somewhere?"

Miranda's playful mood dropped a bit at the mention of her sister. "She's safe. I'll be with her again soon." Jack monitored the face of Miranda's, it seemed to be deep in thought.

"Alright, I'll bite. What are you here for?"

"I have reason to believe Commander Shepard is still alive."

Jack could feel her body jerk with that note. She hesitated for a brief moment before speaking. "Alive? Like how? Where? Oh my god Miri-cheerleader this could be the best news I've heard in a long time!"

Miranda decided against bringing up the fact that Jack had called her by a nickname reserved for close friends and family. It actually sounded a bit too natural coming out of her mouth, it made her surprisingly uncomfortable. Well, maybe uncomfortable wasn't the right word to use.

Miranda began to pace a bit, Jack was watching her and already getting irritated with her slowness to give all the details. Miranda sensed this quickly and fessed up. "I'm not 100% sure it's her. It's a Scottish hospital; they found someone in a crashed shuttle. Caucasian female, red hair, fits Shepard's description. The shuttles were the models fitted for the crucible. It has to be her." Jack eyed her suspiciously. She could tell she was holding something back.

"How bad is she? Like she has to be pretty messed up if she survived that explosion."

"I won't lie, from what information I was able to gather before the server kicked me out she's in a really bad way. I think the Reapers and others had a real go at her even before the crash. She may not even live much longer, though this is Shepard we're talking about. This woman survived getting spaced….sort of."

Jack began scratching her mohawk and rubbing her temple. "Wait, you said the server kicked you out? You're one of the best hackers I know. No way some simple hospital was able to keep you out."

"While I appreciate the flattery, I'm actually not that good. At least not good enough. This is when it would be good to have Tali or Legion around." Lawson turned her gaze away from Jack at that comment. Jack chimed in before the quiet overtook them.

"I'm sure we'll find them. Joker is the best pilot in the Alliance, they'll be fine. Probably just lost radio contact. That EMP wave shit pretty much fried everything more advanced than your stock VI….which means EDI…"

"I don't want to think about it" Miranda cut in. EDI may have just been an advanced AI when she left the Normandy but she still had a connection to it…her…whatever it was. She knew there was something more to her and she was terrified to think what was going on to everyone without her aid. Jack nodded her head, not wanting to press the subject anymore either.

There was a brief silence between them, for the first time Jack and Miranda let the checkered past of Cerberus behind. In this moment they both were thinking of the implications of a living Commander Shepard. Regardless of their opinions on one another they both admired the woman. For better and for worse she had brought them all together, and there wouldn't be a galaxy left if it hadn't been for her courage.

"Well, I'm sure if you know the Alliance knows. They'll check it out and confirm" Jack put her hands in her pocket and leaned against one of the bunks, nearly mirroring Miranda's posture. Miranda's eyes darkened, the steel blue seemed to almost turn navy in the lighting. She stepped forward a bit, lowering her voice to Jack.

"I don't think that's a good thing." Jack's breath left her body for a moment, she usually was quick to respond to anything; but not this.

"What?! Are you kidding me, it's the Alliance not Cerberus! They don't turn on their own like that. Shepard is a hero!"

"And she's a hero who knows too much, who is too popular."

"She's just a soldier!"

"No! We are just soldiers, good soldiers, excellent soldiers even. But Shepard is a symbol now, didn't you hear Allers' report? Council popularity is at an all-time low."

"It'll go back up again after things settle down, you'll see."

"I'm not so sure Jack. I got kicked out by Alliance software, I think they know she's there and don't want anyone else to know."

"It's most likely for her protection."

"Who on earth would want to kill Shepard? There's something rotten here Jack, process this with me. You've seen from the inside like I have how organizations can become corrupt. After what Shepard did she's set to become an Admiral, maybe even more… some people probably don't appreciate that."

Jack took a few deep breaths and paced a bit, wringing her hands in frustration. "I don't know cheerleader, I mean…I'm Alliance now. They're not like Cerberus, they can't be. I trust them!" Jack couldn't believe this was happening, just when she was starting to feel safe for the first time in her life Miranda was pulling the carpet from underneath her. It wasn't fair.

Miranda then approached Jack and reached for her but stopped once Jack made eye contact with her. They had never been this close to one another without wanting to kill the other; or at least tell a mean joke. "Jack…it may not be all of the Alliance. In fact this may not even be something Hackett knows about. But I've heard Admiral Peter Mikhailovich was promoted to Admiral after the war. With David Anderson dead and Hackett looking to retire he might be put in charge. But…there are some saying Shepard should jump over him for political reasons. I've heard he's not taking it well."

"Not well enough to kill Shepard?" The problem wasn't that Jack couldn't believe what she was hearing, no the problem was it was all too easy to believe. This was the nasty human nature her past nihilistic self believed so strongly in, maybe she had been too quick to rebuild her faith in the galaxy. Maybe.

"I think we need to visit that hospital ourselves. It'll put us on the Alliance's radar, but no reason old friends shouldn't be able to visit her. Right?" Jack simply nodded her head. "I've got to go, but for now try and pretend like everything is normal. As normal as it can be that is. I'll be back to see you soon."

Miranda began to make her way towards the exit when Jack paused her for a moment. "Yo cheerleader!" Miranda turned to Jack twisting her hips in a way that perfectly showed off her sculpted bottom.

"Yes?"

"Be safe out there."

"Only if you promise to be" with that Miranda added in a little wink which Jack couldn't help but smirk at as the former Cerberus operative snuck out of the door and down the hall. A few moments later fellow Alliance officers were joining Jack, and she tried her best to stay quiet. A conspiracy against Shepard was almost too much to handle. But she knew that she could count on Sanders and Lawson. She wished Miranda had stayed, she didn't know exactly why, normally she couldn't stand her; but friends were few at the moment. And she had to admit watching Miranda leave a room was always…enticing…

 **Author's Note:** Wanted to get another chapter up, was hit with the time and the inspiration and felt there was no time like the present. Next chapter coming soon, reviews and feedback are as always highly appreciated!


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